68 days.

1642 hours.
98850 minutes.

until i graduate.
CRAZYYY.

not sure if i am excited or sad. a bit of both i guess.

why do we rationalize sin?

The reality of sin is quite simple: Sin separates and sin destroys.

Sin separates us from God and from one another. Sin separates us from peace. Sin separates us from joy. Sin destroys family, relationships, community. Sin forges a wedge of hatred between cultures, denominations and political parties. Between interest groups, races and genders. Sin convinces us that we are right and everyone else is wrong and that this distinction is more important than love. Sin numbs a heart until it no longer yearns after people—and eventually no longer yearns after God.

from an article, www.relevantmagazine.com, written by mark steele, adapted from his book christianish

stuff i love right now

i've been in such a crafty mood since i've been home...probably because adrienne's bedroom is really more of a sewing/crafting room than a place to sleep ;)
plus! i now have a great camera that i love love love AND just got an awesome tripod to play with.
not to mention the sewing machine i got for christmas from my mom, and just before i left i went to M&L discount fabrics in anaheim to get a gift for adrienne and ended up with 10 yards of fabric for myself as well. sooo much to do sooo little time.
and! here is a fabulous blog, sent to me by my mother (of course, the blogging queen that she is!)...can't wait to try this cool bokeh!
check it out here :)
another creative blog that i follow is a daily glimpse into someone else's life, one picture at a time. it's always cool to see other peoples' worlds through their camera lenses.
birds of a feather blog
and i must confess...i looove a good wedding blog. they are my guilty pleasure. especially photographer blogs, they see things so beautifully. i can't remember how i stumbled upon this one, but it is fantastic!
tec petaja photography

also..THIS. grey likes weddings.

and this of course. tacky weddings.

some other things i've been into lately...basically anything on etsy...but here are some of my favorites...

from the bottom of my heart letterpress notes.

plays with mud customized pottery.
yarn letterpress notes.

sweetbeets ginko leaf calendar.

i am broke and i love you notecards.

do work. screen printed notebook.

vintage camera tote bag.

charm design yellow flower clutch.
hellorobertson headbands.


some other projects i've been considering are
>sweater quilt (instructables diy)
>learn how to screen print
(instructables.)

i've messed around with stenciling t-shirts, but it is such a complicated and loooong process...screen printing would be a nice alternative. anyone wanna teach me??? ;)

>i also want to make an earring holder using an old frame, lace or screen mesh, and some floral fabric. here are some ideas i'm using as inspiration...

winter snow

this semester has been a rollercoaster. dealing with the death of harley and tucker, as well as experiencing two of my good friends losing their grandfathers, all while taking a class on death and dying was extremely draining. my financial situation caused a great deal of stress on top of all the normal things a senior in college has to do to finish up.
but there have been soooo many good things too.
>the orientation staff this year was amazing, they became another family to me-i met so many beautiful people who became such treasured friends.
>my living situation is such a blessing. i finally have a roommate who i love dearly AND who doesn't care that i'm messy ;) she is such a great friend and encouragement to me. it's been so great being able to walk along side ellie this semester...well maybe just sit beside her. we have an amazingly comofortable couch in our room. it is seriously heaven in a couch. in fact, i wish i was sitting there, watching friends riiiight now.
>i've also made some really great friends on the floor who i wouldnt be as close with otherwise. i've really gotten to know them well and love being close neighbors!
>then of course i've got my great group of girl friends who've been there from the beginning. we're weird and crazy and dysfunctional at times, but we've got each others backs and i hope that never changes. while we're slightly more spread out this year, we've managed to maintain some degree of closeness. they are really beautiful women who encourage me so much, i don't know what i would do without them. i am so thankful that we were able to stay close this semester. i wish i could say the same will happen even after we graduate, but unfortunately as we all move away, this seems unrealistic.
>my classes this semester were so good. my death and dying class really opened my eyes and forced me to experience some really tough stuff. my faith and money class pushed me to be more eternal in my perspective of money. i feel like i am more careful with my funds (but i'm not perfect, ok? i slip up here and there). my understanding of how God views money have expanded enormously and my passion for giving ignited.
>in the midst of a financial meltdown, God showed up BIG time. He really IS the Great Provider. how do i doubt so easily? my family has made so many sacrifices for me to be able to attend Biola. i honestly don't know how i will ever be able to repay them for their support in finances, in prayer, in cosigning, in encouragement, and in love.

i recently returned "home" to maryland (home is such a loose term at the moment) where we promptly received 26 inches of snow. coming from 70 degree weather, this was quite a dramatic change. it seems to be the finale to an amazing semester...as my new favorite song describes, not only this amazing season in which we celebrate the birth of Christ, but also the character and the nature of God, it is so timely as i find myself surrounded in white.

could've come like a mighty storm
with all the strength of a hurricane
you could've come like a forest fire
with the power of heaven in your flame

but you came like a winter snow
quiet and soft and slow
falling from the sky in the night
to the earth below

you could've swept in like a tidal wave
or an ocean to ravish our heart
you could have come through like a roaring flood
to wipe away all the things we've scarred

but you came like a winter snow
you were quiet, you were soft and slow
falling from the sky in the night
to the earth below

oh no, your voice wasn't in a bush burning
no, your voice wasn't in a rushing wind
it was still, it was small, it was hidden

oh, you came like a winter snow
quiet and soft and slow
falling from the sky in the night
to the earth below

autumn weather

cold and rainy, two words that don't usually describe southern california weather...but it is sooo welcome!
today, walking back from coffee and a volleyball game, something about the rain coming down and no umbrella, the sun long gone, the smell of a dying campfire and the rain on the asphalt...randomly reminded me of the fall retreat with my youth group from back home, my senior year of high school, just a month and a half before Louisa died.
we made a ridiculous video about what? i dont even remember, but it was fun.
erica drove a van full of girls who ended up headed for philadelphia instead of pittsburgh, arriving three or so hours late.
i was so proud of beating Louisa a sumo wrestling game while wearing rubber tires over us.
chris accidentally punched tasia in the mouth.
and adrienne played worship music.
i miss life as it was then.
things are different now, but life is still good, just missing Louisa and waiting for God to do some thing awesome in the lives of people i love who don't know the Lord.

things i love

-that is is finally beginning to feel like fall
-good conversations with amazing friends
-when things begin to fall into place
-when biola's volleyball team wins big
-so much new (to me) music
>brand new's album daisy
>anathallo (especially the song 'the river')
>my boss' brothers local band, the new limb
>sea wolf
>passion pit
>janu and the whalesharks
>the song 'how he loves us' (youtube it...incredible.)

life isn't perfect right now, but this moment is good.

since i've been back

sos week
opening day
our ridiculous skit

worship on the beach

day at corona del mar

the whole staff + directors

just what i needed.

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

no time flat

and now is probably not the time to write it. but i'm in the mood, so here goes.

semester is almost over.
summer is close.
home? i don't know. i guess that's what you'd call it. although biola is the closest thing to home, if i had to pick. but maryland is home because of family. and that's where i'm headed.
plans:
1. intern for my church in the youth program (!!!)
2. continue to work for the winery
3. how it ends/lovefest
4. minnesota vacation to visit abby
5. vacation in florida?
6. return to biola for sos training

hopefully this will be a good summer, one to love and be a light. to stay strong and stay close.
trying to figure out the car situation. do i get one for the summer...if yes, then do i drive it back to school? can i afford that? (no). if not, how do i get around? maybe someone has an extra vehicle sitting in their driveway i can rent? that'd be great.

also...today is mother's day.
my mom is great.
please check out her blog, that way you can get an idea for how much she does.

recently she's been spending time with my little sister who is recovering from back survery to remove a tumor (benign) on her spine. she spent an entire week in the hospital with her-barely sleeping in those awful chairs, eating hospital food probably, stressed and tired. how awesome is she?love you mom!

some much has happened

the rescue was an event held on april 25 -people in cities around the world "abducted" themselves, walked in solidarity, camped outside to raise awareness about the LRA and Joseph Koney and the innocent children being abducted and forced to become child soldiers in Uganda, the Congo, and South Sudan. a bunch of my friends and i went to the los angeles event in santa monica (west of the city). we walked about 1.5 miles from our "abduction site" on the beach in santa monica, past the pier, to city hall, "the LRA camp," where we set up our sleeping bags for the night. we waited to be rescued. in LA, it did not take long. we were almost immediately rescued by tom arnold. we did some filming for invisible children's media use (see pictures below, that's what the banners were for). the news came, ktla, fox la, and e! news, and later on we were [more] officially rescued by kristen bell and ben mckenzie (the oc). it was beautiful.

nine countries. 100 cities. one collective voice: bring the child soldiers.here are some pictures i took before my camera died.

brooke, our navigator

los angeles

brooke and chris

4,000

biola friends

walking from the abduction site to the LRA camp

santa monica pier

nearing the end of our walk, passed the santa monica pier

jason russell, one of three original founders of invisible children

camped out on the lawn at city hall

the man we are fighting

peace

brooke

the rescue bracelet and "x" because we abducted ourselves

nicole

sitting underneath as it is passed over me

the banner over us is love

the rescue, santa monica city hall

los angeles event, santa monica city hall

ak-47

jason russell, one of three original founders of invisible children

another banner, another way to raise awareness

a picture from the rescue website, i'm sitting on my knees in the front and my friend chris is holding the bottom corner of the banner above his head. so cool.

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last weekend we had a beach day for the whole staff...i think thirty or fourty sos leaders showed up, played mafia and volleyball, ate pizza, hung out, had a bonfire, and worship.

tracy

sprinkles (stinkin' expensive cupcakes)

yum

mafia

more mafia

corona del mar

natasha and nicole

love them

prayer partners!

awesome eighties crew group

sos staff beach day '09

these are some pictures i took of the staff at beach day...these are a few of my favorites.

taylor

andrei

tracy

carissa

ashley

tatiana

me

leah

natasha

we had fun :)